STRONGBOW <3

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there’s no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that’s what you do
– Rod Stewart

I could just leave my entire post like that, but in the spirit of this blog, I thought I had better really review my all time favourite alcoholic drink.

Strongbow, you rock. Your website is interactive and fun… and you COME IN BOTTLES. Still the option for the giant can, but you COME IN BOTTLES. Did you know STRONGBOW makes other flavours?! Me neither! Very hard to find here, but I will definitely keep my eye out to review them in the future. Perhaps a trip to the United States will assist in finding the new flavours. If any of you see them, please grab them for me! Dark Fruit! Pear! Oh, did I mention #youcomeinbottles ? Sounds pretty sick the 3rd time I say it. “Your product is available in bottles.” Better? You #pervert. Just don’t get any on the carpet.

I like Strongbow because it tastes like I think dry cider should taste. Not too sweet. Not too boozy, and at 5.3%, its pretty much perfect.

Now, in the spirit of the review:

Fizziness: perfect (2/5 – not tooooooo fizzy but that’s the way I like it)
Can Design: classic – 5/5
Cost: meh. Kind of pricey, but I would pay anything for it (2/5)
Coolness: 5/5

So, to prove to you I really do enjoy cider, I thought I would review something that I thoroughly enjoy. The bottle says to “serve chilled,” but I would drink a warm one over those other ones I have reviewed any day!

Until next time… happy drinking 🙂

Related articles

• The Dark Side of Strongbow (trbririshbeverageblog.wordpress.com)
• Cider in the News, Int’l July Edition (cidernation.wordpress.com)

TEMPT cider [No. 9]

This little nugget from Denmark is my other ‘distraction’ from the NEW! sign at the liquor store. Again, BC Liquor Store, you suck for not having much selection. I’ll support the little guy down the street.

It comes in a 6 pack of cans. This was intriguing to me because 6 cans usually mean regular size cans, not ginormous cans like Sir Perry & Strongbow. Don’t get me wrong. I love Strongbow. But that comes in bottles and I loooooooove bottles. Unfortunately, the 6er was wrapped in some impenetrable plastic and I almost broke a nail trying to get a can out. And the can feels weird. Its a matte finish so it doesn’t feel nice in your hand.

At first look, the can looks like it belongs in the “i don’t know what to get you for your birthday so I will get you bath soaps” collection from the 1990s. Its floral and pink and all together weird. It’s even got this weird thing on the can that goes around the label. Luckily, I chose to read it *before* I opened the can or else I would have had cider all over my lap and carpet. And by carpet, I mean floor, you #pervert.

“Secrets. Everybody has them. Some are as pure as the driven snow. And some are not. And by the way, cans can have secrets too.” Ok this is getting weirder.

My online research (which was very brief by the way, because this company doesn’t appear to have a website. The URL leads to a removed facebook site, and the twitter feed hasn’t been used for over 2 years. Bad sign? Probably… but I digress….) shows that No. 9 is only 1 variety (or ‘flavour’ if you will) of cider that this company makes. This particular one is “Strawberry and Lime Taste.” Taste? Really? The word “Flavour” indicates artificial. Taste describes… something worse.

Ok. So the can looks terrible. The website is out of order. The fun little description on the can is not so fun. How bad can this be?

After a hard day of painting (it was like, 40 degrees in that little room and I had to keep the door closed to reduce the amount of cat hair that would get stuck in the paint), I was really looking forward to cracking open this cider. I crack it open. PHHHSSSSTTTT. Nice. I take a sip…

WHAT THE HELL. Really? This takes me back to the ‘what can you buy me at the liquor store that isn’t too gross but I can’t be picky because I’m not 19 so just get me something fruity and cheap please’ days. That can’t be. I take another sip, and I start thinking about high school and eyeball alley and Mr. Dupperon and boys we used to have crushes on and Woodward’s Pit and that weird party at Mark’s house and a bunch of other things about high school I don’t want to remember or write about…

This is either something that you would first start drinking at the age of 16 (or however old young people start drinking at now. 12?) and choke down because its going to get you drunk, or something a really old person with no tastebuds would like.

Strawberries with a hint of floral, and just enough *ick* so you know that there’s booze it in. So sweet that you might actually get a cavity. If you don’t get a cavity, its a wicked aftertaste.  Coming in at 4.5%, its not worth it to me.

Fizziness: 5/5. Its actually not too fizzy… which is good for me.
Can Design: 0/5. If it didn’t say “NEW!” at the liquor store, I wouldn’t have given it a second look
Cost: 0/5. I wouldn’t pay money for it again
Coolness: -15/0. And that’s not some hipster reference to it being so cool its below zero. It literally is the most uncool thing I’ve ever had.

So there you have it. This cider sucks. I’m throwing the rest of it down the sink. I’d rather have a root canal than finish it (** I’m born/raised P-dot and its a cardinal sin to throw out booze). I hope Trav can choke down the other 5 cans, because I don’t even think a homeless guy would take it. I’m going out to get a 6er of Strongbow.

** There was one cool thing about this cider… There is a little blurb on the side of the can… you need a magnifying glass to read it, but it says:

“Alcohol reduces driving ability. Don’t drink and Drive”. A+ in my books.

FOUNDRY – Golden Cider

I don’t know what a golden shower feels like, but I anticipate this cider is nothing like it.

My trip to the Government Liquor store today didn’t give me very many cider options – just a few classics like Strongbow, Rock Creek, Okanagan Springs, and Growers… but there were two that caught my eye… This was one of them. Why did it catch my eye? It said “new product” beside it.

At only 4.5% alc./vol., this cider, imported from the U.K., goes down smooth like apple juice. In fact, it doesn’t have that weird cider aftertaste, an if given to a small child, they may just think it was apple juice. Apple Cider? Who would have thought!

The can has some weird story about a patio chair. Not my thing. Give me some fru-fru story instead. And the can looks like it is trying to rip off some sort of Mac product. Perhaps they should have called it iCider and risked getting sued. Any publicity is good publicity, right?

The can also advises to “serve well chilled”. While most cider is better chilled, this became unbearably gross when it warmed up. As you will learn from reading this blog more and more, I will complain about “big cans” and “fizz”. I have a hard time getting through a big can, so at the 50% mark, I had to get a glass with ice. It then improved remarkably and it was back into my “would drink again” books.

The website sucks. Don’t bother. If you don’t believe me: http://www.foundrycider.com/.

Fizzyness: 3/5
Can Design: 1/5
Cost: 4/5
Coolness: 3/5

The coolness would improve depending on the company. A bunch of nerds (like me) would probably spend their time complaining about trademarks (because mac seems to own every apple shape in the world), and people liking drab, bland colours may think its more cool. The cost was a little better than average, but the liquor store might just be trying to get me hooked on a new product.

Definitely refreshing on a hot day. Not as dry as I would like it, but I think the sweetness compliments the slightly lower alcohol content. Would prefer if it came in smaller cans or bottles, but its not that big of a deal. It definitely complimented the BBQ pizza we had for dinner. Try it if you have 3 friends to split a 4 pack with.

(sorry about the lame picture. I stole it from the intraweb. I don’t feel like getting my camera out, taking a picture… give me a break, I’ve been sanding and spackelling all day)

LONETREE – authentic dry cider – Cranberry Apple

For my first ever blog post, I thought I would consider a cider that was already in the fridge. Though I had to trade Travis a beer for one of his ciders, it saved me a trip to the liquor depot to pick up something else.

My first sip, I thought “Geez, this is way too sweet. I’m never going to be able to finish this,” but then I ate a piece of pie and things levelled out. This cider is actually pretty good. Its not too fizzy, has a hint of cranberry, and is sweet but tangy. Also, its made with Okanagan Apples.

http://www.lonetreecider.com claims “Cranberry lovers; rejoice! New LoneTree cranberry-apple cider is made to our exacting authentic dry cider recipe, with 15% realBC cranberries. Prepare for a surprisingly different cider experience. Crisp. Sharp. Authentic & Real. No artificial colours. No artificial flavours. No grain glutens. 5.5% ABV”

I agree that its crisp.
Sharp? Meh.
Authentic – how would I be able to refute this?
And Real – yup, it exists. I’m holding it in my hand right now.

The can design is pretty cool. I know that the pink goes with the cranberry aspect, but I think they would do better with a different colour can. A man slightly unsure about his sexuality may not be confident enough to drink cider in public, let alone drink it out of a pink can. I do like the tree – it plays into the hipster in me. It was in line with most other ciders on the market with regards to price, and it would be pretty cool, depending on my outfit. Totally uncool if i was wearing a red pantsuit. But would that be the cider, or me? And would you tell me to my face?

Lonetree also makes an original cider and a soft cider. Low alcohol? Don’t waste my time.

So here is my final review:
Fizzyness: 3/5 (which is good for me)
Can Design: 3/5
Cost: 3/5
Coolness: 3/5.

Would I buy it again? I’m not running out to get more. I’d rather try some other varieties before coming back to this. It didn’t blow me away, but if someone offered it to me at a party, I wouldn’t pooh pooh it. Definitely not “Rejoicing”.